on girlfriends

I’ve never had a lot of girlfriends. Growing up, I wasn't really interested in painting my nails or talking about boys; even now, I’m still more interested in playing videogames or talking about music. Attribute it to my childhood rife with Power Rangers and pogs, or my aversion to idle chit-chat or petty drama, but it’s always been easier for me to forge and maintain friendships with the opposite sex (purely platonic though, of course). Even when I started dating, that mindset remained the same and I didn’t see anything wrong with it until recently.

I think it’s safe to say that I was feeling pretty lost after I graduated college last year. Several big chapters in my life had ended, forcing me to lose some friends in the process, all the while losing more friends to other situational circumstances. I like to think that I'm pretty good at making friends, but I’ve always found it extremely difficult to maintain those friendships, or to foster them into deeper relationships. And with the strains of distance and time, I was left without any close ties, apart from my family, and felt extremely lost.

By chance, however, I met a couple girls through a mutual friend at the start of the summer. I didn’t think much of the encounter initially but it eventually led to some real friendships. I’ve had several close girlfriends in the past, but never such a solid group of them before. I soon found myself having more fun than I’d had in a very long time (albeit drinking much more), and it was nice to feel lost in the fun for a while. It was the much-needed distraction I had been waiting for. And what started as a carefree distraction turned into an actual commitment. I actually wanted my friends to know what I was doing and how I was feeling, and I was (and still am!) genuinely interested in their well-being. When I moved to Springfield and everyone else parted their professional and academic ways, I thought the looming strain of distance and time would strike again. But it didn’t.

In a way, my newfound friends saved me last summer. And in the same way, they continue to save me. As much as I hate being isolated in Springfield, I have that much more reason to return home now. And I really can’t ask for any more than that. I complained in an earlier post that I needed a Zooey Deschanel typecast figure in my life, but I guess I already have that.