on nostalgia

In my twenty-three tortuous years of life, I've found that there are two types of nostalgia. The first demands a certain type of regret and a large amount of longing, wistfulness, etc. The other is merely a remembrance of good things past -- a smile upon what once was and has been. Obviously the latter is preferable to the former, but you can't help what you feel. Memories that my head tells me to just enjoy and look past are always grasped and painfully obsessed over by my heart. Perhaps someday in the future I'll be able to take past memories for what they should be -- halcyon days without pain or regret. Until then...I shall...blog?

on fleeting friendships

I don't know if this is a recurring phenomenon unique only to my life, but I've always found it very easy to make friends but not so easy to keep them. I find myself enamored in the beginning, blind to faults and eager to please. But soon, as quickly as they began, they end. The novelty fades; the excitement dissipates; and I'm left wondering why it even worked in the first place. Are the most exciting friendships and most passionate romances meant to be merely ephemeral experiences? Maybe I'm just being impatient during the lulls; or maybe it just takes me a while to see the flaws that once apparent, seem glaringly obvious and inescapable. Either way, I need to grow up and keep my friends.