Thursday, June 23, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
on pessimism
There is a difference between practicality and pessimism. Practicality requires a reasoned, logical, and objective approach to a certain situation whereas pessimism is more focused on the negative response to the said situation. There is something to be admired about being practical, but I can’t stand pessimism, especially when it’s unwarranted and unnecessary.
I’m tired of people offering pessimistic advice or taking a pessimistic stance on a situation completely separate from their lives (or even if it does involve their lives, why hold such a negative view?). Yes, I took the LSAT and will be spending over $150k on an education that will not ensure me a high paying job, or even a job at all. What career path does ensure a high paying job, though? Nothing is for certain. I wouldn’t be going to law school if I hadn’t assessed the situation, taken all factors into consideration, and planned accordingly for the future.
I think making a defining career choice requires practicality; and while going to law school may not be the most practical choice in this country’s current economic plight, I’ve made sure all the other factors (school, potential job market, etc.) are practical decisions that will make the most of this choice. I have to have faith in my desire and my ability; that I am willing and capable of doing well enough to succeed. Every life decision requires a foundation of practicality but no career goal can come into fruition without that hope and hard work. I’m so tired of pessimism.
At the risk of sounding like an angry Asian girl (which I hear is still preferable to being an angry black woman), I’ve decided to voice my thoughts about the people who are pessimistic about the law profession's future, and by association, my future. F U.
I’m tired of people offering pessimistic advice or taking a pessimistic stance on a situation completely separate from their lives (or even if it does involve their lives, why hold such a negative view?). Yes, I took the LSAT and will be spending over $150k on an education that will not ensure me a high paying job, or even a job at all. What career path does ensure a high paying job, though? Nothing is for certain. I wouldn’t be going to law school if I hadn’t assessed the situation, taken all factors into consideration, and planned accordingly for the future.
I think making a defining career choice requires practicality; and while going to law school may not be the most practical choice in this country’s current economic plight, I’ve made sure all the other factors (school, potential job market, etc.) are practical decisions that will make the most of this choice. I have to have faith in my desire and my ability; that I am willing and capable of doing well enough to succeed. Every life decision requires a foundation of practicality but no career goal can come into fruition without that hope and hard work. I’m so tired of pessimism.
At the risk of sounding like an angry Asian girl (which I hear is still preferable to being an angry black woman), I’ve decided to voice my thoughts about the people who are pessimistic about the law profession's future, and by association, my future. F U.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
on grammar
If you know me, you know that I love grammar. I don’t know why exactly, but I derive some kind of sick pleasure from knowing when and where to place a comma in a sentence and from choosing the right word for a particular phrase. And so, I’ve compiled a list of my least favorite (or most hated) grammatical errors that I’ve observed (more frequently than I'd like):
(1) Phonetic errors: These are not too common; they may arise from haphazard writing or just pure laziness, but they are mistakes that I imagine only a seven year old can excusably make. For example, “I COULD OF done that” instead of “I COULD HAVE done that”; or “I USE to do that” instead of “I USED to do that.” Forgivable, but annoying. That is something you learn in grade school.
(2) Affect/Effect: Many people know little more about parts of speech than nouns, verbs, and adjectives, and even then, a lot of that knowledge comes from the arguably incomplete Schoolhouse Rock. However, there are eight parts of speech (verbs, nouns, pronouns, adverbs, adjectives, prepositions, conjunctions, and interjections) and they each have a unique and exclusive purpose! The worst part about this misuse is that it only involves the very, very basic verb and noun. “Affect” is a verb; for example, “Your smoking affects my health.” “Effect,” on the other hand, is a noun; for instance, “Your smoking has a negative EFFECT on my health.” Unforgivable and annoying, not to mention downright embarrassing.
(3) Homonym errors: Including the paramount “affect/effect” error, there is an insane number of homonyms that people continually get wrong: “peak/pique,” “adverse/averse,” “altogether/all together,” “accept/except,” “assent/ascent,” “bald/bawled (yes, I really have seen that one before),” and so many others. However, I won’t even deign to define these; look them up!
(3) Between/Among: This distinction is very simple, and sometimes I wonder if people just never learn how to use them correctly or if they just don’t care. Either way, it’s a silly mistake to make (especially if you’re writing a paper or a personal statement). “Between” refers to two; “among” refers to more than two. For example, “This is a problem BETWEEN you and me” and “This is a problem AMONG the three (or four or twenty or hundred, etc) of us.”
(4) Me/I: The aforementioned sentence “This is a problem between you and me” brings attention to my next point: “you and me” vs. “you and I.” Without fail, people post pictures on Facebook and write in the caption “_____ and I at _____.” This is incorrect. If you were alone in the picture, you would write in the caption (at least, I hope you would) “me” as in, “that is me.” You wouldn’t say “that is I.” Therefore, when you add another player to the game, you say “Barney and me,” not “Barney and I.” Similarly, “between you and I” is incorrect. It should be “between you and ME.”
(5) A lot/Alot: This is just embarrassing. I understand if “alot” is a product of lazy instant messaging fingers or evil t9/swype, but it’s unforgivable in an academic or professional setting. There really is no explanation for this; it’s “A LOT” not “ALOT,” unless you’re trying to say “allot” (the verb) which would also be an embarrassing typo.
I have a lot (yes, “a lot,” not “alot”) more issues with grammar errors like dangling modifiers, dangling participles, passive voice, etc., but I will either save them for another day or suppress them until they explode, leaving me relentlessly ranting in some poor soul’s face.
(1) Phonetic errors: These are not too common; they may arise from haphazard writing or just pure laziness, but they are mistakes that I imagine only a seven year old can excusably make. For example, “I COULD OF done that” instead of “I COULD HAVE done that”; or “I USE to do that” instead of “I USED to do that.” Forgivable, but annoying. That is something you learn in grade school.
(2) Affect/Effect: Many people know little more about parts of speech than nouns, verbs, and adjectives, and even then, a lot of that knowledge comes from the arguably incomplete Schoolhouse Rock. However, there are eight parts of speech (verbs, nouns, pronouns, adverbs, adjectives, prepositions, conjunctions, and interjections) and they each have a unique and exclusive purpose! The worst part about this misuse is that it only involves the very, very basic verb and noun. “Affect” is a verb; for example, “Your smoking affects my health.” “Effect,” on the other hand, is a noun; for instance, “Your smoking has a negative EFFECT on my health.” Unforgivable and annoying, not to mention downright embarrassing.
(3) Homonym errors: Including the paramount “affect/effect” error, there is an insane number of homonyms that people continually get wrong: “peak/pique,” “adverse/averse,” “altogether/all together,” “accept/except,” “assent/ascent,” “bald/bawled (yes, I really have seen that one before),” and so many others. However, I won’t even deign to define these; look them up!
(3) Between/Among: This distinction is very simple, and sometimes I wonder if people just never learn how to use them correctly or if they just don’t care. Either way, it’s a silly mistake to make (especially if you’re writing a paper or a personal statement). “Between” refers to two; “among” refers to more than two. For example, “This is a problem BETWEEN you and me” and “This is a problem AMONG the three (or four or twenty or hundred, etc) of us.”
(4) Me/I: The aforementioned sentence “This is a problem between you and me” brings attention to my next point: “you and me” vs. “you and I.” Without fail, people post pictures on Facebook and write in the caption “_____ and I at _____.” This is incorrect. If you were alone in the picture, you would write in the caption (at least, I hope you would) “me” as in, “that is me.” You wouldn’t say “that is I.” Therefore, when you add another player to the game, you say “Barney and me,” not “Barney and I.” Similarly, “between you and I” is incorrect. It should be “between you and ME.”
(5) A lot/Alot: This is just embarrassing. I understand if “alot” is a product of lazy instant messaging fingers or evil t9/swype, but it’s unforgivable in an academic or professional setting. There really is no explanation for this; it’s “A LOT” not “ALOT,” unless you’re trying to say “allot” (the verb) which would also be an embarrassing typo.
I have a lot (yes, “a lot,” not “alot”) more issues with grammar errors like dangling modifiers, dangling participles, passive voice, etc., but I will either save them for another day or suppress them until they explode, leaving me relentlessly ranting in some poor soul’s face.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
on regret
Sometimes there's nothing you can do about lonely pangs of regret but swallow them and let that lump of sad retrospect fester in the small intestine of your soul.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
on generational gaps
It's interesting to read blogs of people just a few (or several) years older than me preparing to be parents or beginning the journey of parenthood. They're all so excited and invested in the process, but what strikes me most is their eloquence in describing it. They perfectly express the fears and desires that attest to just how good they will be as parents (or already are). And when I read those words, I wonder what my own parents thought before they had me, or before they had either of my sisters. I wonder if their concerns and hopes were just as pure and prettily expressed, or if they even had those kinds of concerns or hopes at all. But my questions are put to rest almost immediately because I know how good my parents are; and I know what good parents they are. Everyone says they have the best parents in the world, but I actually have concrete evidence that my parents are, hands down, the best (though that is an argument for another day and another post). But they're nothing like these young, new parents that I'm seeing and reading about. My parents don't understand the social pressures that are present in today's society; they don't know nor would they care about who Justin Bieber is; and as much as my dad tries to understand Facebook, he'll never be able to navigate around my Facebook page to view my photos (which is why I don't block him). They would never be able to start a blog and write about what it means to them to be parents; or how difficult it was starting a life in America; or how difficult it was starting a family in America. But despite their technological ineptitude and pop culture ignorance, I know their love is real, and I know their intentions over two decades ago were as genuine and heartfelt as the intentions of parents today. And I guess my biggest hope is that I can be like that someday. All I really want is for my love for my future children/family to transcend time and culture like my parents' does and like I know this generation's parents' will. It'd be nice to be able to articulate the journey eloquently, too.
on disappointment
Disappointment can manifest in many different ways, and on many different levels. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, and have attempted to differentiate among the types of disappointment. I’ve classified them according to disappointer (the person who disappoints), as listed below:
(1) When extraneous circumstances disappoint. Extraneous circumstances come into play when you buy a box of cereal lacking a prize at the bottom or when the shirt you wanted to buy is sold out; this is the most harmless kind. You experience a twinge of disappointment, but life continues and you move on; there was nothing you could have done to prevent it and nothing you can do about it now. Extraneous circumstances also present themselves when you lose a $20 bill from the back pocket of your jeans, or when your efforts to catch a plane at the airport are proven futile. This type of disappointment is indeed governed by extraneous circumstances and you are helpless to fight it once it starts, but you will always wonder in the back of your mind if there was something you could have done to prevent it. Maybe you could have put the money in your wallet instead of your pocket; maybe you could have woken up a little earlier to avoid the traffic that kept you from catching your plane. You’ll never know, and this kind of disappointment caused by extraneous circumstances is tainted by the possibility that bad fortune struck in small part because of you.
(2) When a stranger or acquaintance disappoints. This is another kind of disappointment that, while inconvenient, has little bearing on your life. It can lead to a general feeling of discontentment, frustration, or mild disgust, but you realize that this stranger or acquaintance owed you little more than common human decency. You can curse humanity when the grumpy grandma grins evilly as the elevator doors shut despite your outstretched hand and feverish plea; or you can shake your head in disappointment at the coworker who turns in a terrible report and then proceeds to play Spider Solitaire on his computer. But regardless of those initial feelings of disappointment, at the end of the day, you can return home relatively emotionally unscathed.
(3) When a loved one disappoints. This kind of disappointment exists on many different levels and can birth the most raw and acute of human emotions. There’s the disappointment of failed expectations, when you expected a certain outcome to occur or a person to act a certain way, and those things and people fail to meet your expectations. There is also the angry kind of disappointment, when you mask your disgust or sadness with anger because the only way you can express your disappointment is through your anger. And then there’s the slow, quiet, yet deep-rooted disappointment. It’s the kind that festers over time, with every unanswered phone call, broken engagement, or seemingly harmless lie. Each individual act creates an innocuous droplet of disappointment; however, the droplets eventually come together, creating a large mass of disappointment, vulnerable to a single prick that could rupture it all. Whether it’s the broken promise of washing the dishes or the deep failure of living up to your expectations, it’s difficult to swallow that disappointment and look at the person in the same way again.
(4) When you disappoint. This is arguably the worst kind of disappointment, and the most difficult to overcome. It could be the feeling you get when you realize you’re not the person you thought you were, or the person you wanted to be. Or it could be the feeling you get when someone else is disappointed in you, not for gratuitous reasons but because you failed to meet their expectations of you. Either way, you have to admit full culpability and weather the consequences. And bearing that kind of disappointment is a heavy burden on your heart. It’s much easier to drop a disappointing person from your life than it is to deal with the feelings of guilt, regret, and painful retrospect.
I realized early on that the easiest way to avoid disappointment is to simply lower your expectations. However, realization is not actualization and I refuse to become a pessimist. I like getting excited about events and people, even if they ultimately end up disappointing me. There is a certain kind of joy to anticipation that I will never abandon or relinquish.
(1) When extraneous circumstances disappoint. Extraneous circumstances come into play when you buy a box of cereal lacking a prize at the bottom or when the shirt you wanted to buy is sold out; this is the most harmless kind. You experience a twinge of disappointment, but life continues and you move on; there was nothing you could have done to prevent it and nothing you can do about it now. Extraneous circumstances also present themselves when you lose a $20 bill from the back pocket of your jeans, or when your efforts to catch a plane at the airport are proven futile. This type of disappointment is indeed governed by extraneous circumstances and you are helpless to fight it once it starts, but you will always wonder in the back of your mind if there was something you could have done to prevent it. Maybe you could have put the money in your wallet instead of your pocket; maybe you could have woken up a little earlier to avoid the traffic that kept you from catching your plane. You’ll never know, and this kind of disappointment caused by extraneous circumstances is tainted by the possibility that bad fortune struck in small part because of you.
(2) When a stranger or acquaintance disappoints. This is another kind of disappointment that, while inconvenient, has little bearing on your life. It can lead to a general feeling of discontentment, frustration, or mild disgust, but you realize that this stranger or acquaintance owed you little more than common human decency. You can curse humanity when the grumpy grandma grins evilly as the elevator doors shut despite your outstretched hand and feverish plea; or you can shake your head in disappointment at the coworker who turns in a terrible report and then proceeds to play Spider Solitaire on his computer. But regardless of those initial feelings of disappointment, at the end of the day, you can return home relatively emotionally unscathed.
(3) When a loved one disappoints. This kind of disappointment exists on many different levels and can birth the most raw and acute of human emotions. There’s the disappointment of failed expectations, when you expected a certain outcome to occur or a person to act a certain way, and those things and people fail to meet your expectations. There is also the angry kind of disappointment, when you mask your disgust or sadness with anger because the only way you can express your disappointment is through your anger. And then there’s the slow, quiet, yet deep-rooted disappointment. It’s the kind that festers over time, with every unanswered phone call, broken engagement, or seemingly harmless lie. Each individual act creates an innocuous droplet of disappointment; however, the droplets eventually come together, creating a large mass of disappointment, vulnerable to a single prick that could rupture it all. Whether it’s the broken promise of washing the dishes or the deep failure of living up to your expectations, it’s difficult to swallow that disappointment and look at the person in the same way again.
(4) When you disappoint. This is arguably the worst kind of disappointment, and the most difficult to overcome. It could be the feeling you get when you realize you’re not the person you thought you were, or the person you wanted to be. Or it could be the feeling you get when someone else is disappointed in you, not for gratuitous reasons but because you failed to meet their expectations of you. Either way, you have to admit full culpability and weather the consequences. And bearing that kind of disappointment is a heavy burden on your heart. It’s much easier to drop a disappointing person from your life than it is to deal with the feelings of guilt, regret, and painful retrospect.
I realized early on that the easiest way to avoid disappointment is to simply lower your expectations. However, realization is not actualization and I refuse to become a pessimist. I like getting excited about events and people, even if they ultimately end up disappointing me. There is a certain kind of joy to anticipation that I will never abandon or relinquish.
Monday, May 2, 2011
on being healthy and/or/but boring
It’s been seven full weeks now since I’ve quit smoking. And I won’t lie; it hasn’t been easy. But as difficult as it has been to quit, I am that much prouder of myself and of my willpower. I think it was hardest to let go of that persona of the emaciated musician and writer I wanted to embody as a smoker, but I suppose I’ll have to make music and write as a healthy member of society now.
On another note, I fear that I will run out of topics for my blog posts eventually, or, God forbid, soon. I really only write about what I know, which consists of melodramatic portrayals of and contemplations on heartbreak, the making and breaking of relationships, and my current generally lackluster life. It is a great hope that I can continue to entertain my considerably paltry audience with my thoughts, dreams, and observations, but the truth is that there may be many more posts approaching of materialistic wish lists and descriptions of what I ate for breakfast. For the sake of the general public, though, I will try to limit those posts, or at least eat something really awesome to describe in a future post.
On another note, I fear that I will run out of topics for my blog posts eventually, or, God forbid, soon. I really only write about what I know, which consists of melodramatic portrayals of and contemplations on heartbreak, the making and breaking of relationships, and my current generally lackluster life. It is a great hope that I can continue to entertain my considerably paltry audience with my thoughts, dreams, and observations, but the truth is that there may be many more posts approaching of materialistic wish lists and descriptions of what I ate for breakfast. For the sake of the general public, though, I will try to limit those posts, or at least eat something really awesome to describe in a future post.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)