If there is one attribute that I lack but would love to have, it is consistency. With schoolwork, housework, relationships, friendships, I lack the common sense to sustain and finish what I start with the same fervor, motivation, and work ethic. I experience intermittent bursts of motivation or joy in the work I'm doing, so I pursue it feverishly, only to slink into a lazy depression and work lackadaisically until my next burst of energy. My fickleness and temperament also pervades my feelings towards the past, present, and future. I spend 95% of the time feeling happy or content with who I am, what I'm doing, and where I'm going, but then 5% of the time, I plunge into an overwhelming despair about the life I'm leading, comparing it to the life I've led and the life I would like to lead. I have been told by an irreparably douchey (but fairly reliable) source - you know who you are - that I am unstable, or at least, more unstable than the aforementioned person; and that this instability may be a cause or big factor in my periodic angst. And thus, I hope and pray and wish for consistency. May I be granted consistency so I can be decently happy 100% of the time, rather than very happy 95% and miserable for 5.
Or is 95% big happiness and 5% big misery better than 100% small to medium happiness? Are the odds in my favor?
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